Newborns are scary

Newborns are scary

If you’re a first time mom, you have to admit that you were scared shitless the first night home with your baby. Hell, maybe even the first week or month!

It’s only been 3 months since Mackenzie was born but it feels like a lifetime ago already!

That first night home with her was so nerve-wracking! I remember thinking about how many times I would have to get up during the night to feed her, to change her. Would I get any sleep? Would anyone sleep? Ever again?

I can also recall being so nervous about over feeding her. The nurse told us to give her 20 ML every 2-3 hours. That’s less than ounce. I cried on my couch because at her 4 day old check up, she weighed only 6 lbs. She was 6 lbs 10 oz at birth and 6 lbs 6 oz when we left the hospital 2 days later.

Oh and no one told me that babies do this freaky eye roll thing where they look like they’re possessed or having a seizure. It freaked me out every time Mackenzie did it! Luckily it stopped after a few weeks!

The soft spot- you know on the top of their head?? It pulsates. What. The. Hell.

Babies are small, fragile little creatures and I was so scared to dress her. I thought I was gonna break her arms and legs. She literally wore only onesies for the first few weeks lol.

Somehow we made it to almost week 15 and I feel like an old pro now! I hope our next baby is as good as Mackenzie is.

What were you scared/nervous about when you brought your baby home?

Thanks for reading!

See you soon,

Kristina

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What it’s like being a mom without my mom

What it’s like being a mom without my mom

I lost my mom on May 27, 2013. She had a tough, 9 month battle with lung cancer. I had so many thoughts the night she passed away. She wouldn’t be there to help me find a wedding dress, she wouldn’t be dancing at our wedding, and most importantly…. she wouldn’t get to hold her grandchildren someday.

Fast forward to January 2018, when I found out I was pregnant. I immediately thought of my mom. It hurt my heart that she wasn’t here. I couldn’t call her to tell her. We wouldn’t go shopping for the baby. She wouldn’t be at the hospital, waiting for her grandchild to be born.

Over the past year, I’ve read so many articles of other women becoming mothers and not having their own mom anymore. Sometimes it brings me comfort to read other peoples stories. Other times it angers me.

Why my mom? She wanted me and my sister to have kids some day. She loved kids! She watched kids in our home, my whole life. She honestly would have been the greatest grandma ever.

August 31, 2018… I’m in labor, completely out of it because of the medications I was on due to preeclampsia, 18 hours of labor, 2 hours of [barely] pushing, my beautiful, perfect, sweet baby girl was born.

Mackenzie Jean.

I just kept thinking about my mom and how bad I wanted her there. Not even so much to be with me, but to meet the girl I named after her.

My mom’s name was JeanMarie, Gina was her nickname. My husband and I decided to give my mom’s first name as our daughters middle name.

I’m now 3 months into this mama role and some days, I have no idea what I’m doing. I want to call my mom so bad and ask her for advice. Or send her pictures of Mackenzie. I want to brag about all of her firsts and tell her how smart she is already. My mom would have agreed, of course.

Instead, I talk to Mackenzie about my mom and tell her all the things her grandma would love about her. I tell her about all the adventures they would have gone on, all the fun they would have had, and all the memories they would have made.

Mackenzie will always know my mom. She will always know how much she loved her. She will always have someone watching over her.

My mom left a note before she passed. It’s heartbreaking to read. She knew she wouldn’t make it. I’m thankful we have it though.

As I end this, I know my mom is always with me. I know I can talk to her. It’s not the same though. Nothing beats her being physically here.

I love her and I miss her everyday.

Here is the letter she write to my dad, me and my sister 😔

Thank you for reading

See you soon,

Kristina

You know you’re a mom when…

You know you’re a mom when…

Being a mom means you have to make sacrifices. Some of these things are obvious, even before you have a baby. Other things aren’t! You don’t realize until after your babe is born how much you took for granted.

Here is a list if things I’ve sacrificed after having my baby!

  • Long, hot showers
  • Getting to wash your hair AND shave your legs during the same shower
  • Blow drying/straighten your hair – these days, I let it air dry & take care of it the next day!
  • Going to the bathroom with the door closed
  • Going to the bathroom without an audience… some days I have the baby staring at me, some days it’s the dog. Sometimes it’s both!
  • Drinking hot coffee! – I usually get to drink it while it’s hot if I chug it
  • Eating a warm meal
  • Taking my time to eat
  • Eating at the same time as my husband
  • Being anywhere on time… we’re usually late by a few minutes
  • Doing my eye makeup. I could throw on my face makeup [foundation, brows, mascara] in 10 minutes, one handed, while holding Mackenzie
  • A full nights sleep – Kenzie sleeps 10-12 hours straight through the night… but me? I’m up every hour to make sure she’s still breathing. I usually poke her lol
  • Watching an hour tv show, in an hour. Some days, it takes my husband and I 3 hours to watch one tv show!
  • “Doing my hair” is just me putting it up in a fun bun these days!
  • These are all I could think of at the moment! Feel free to add to the list by commenting below!
  • See you soon,
  • Kristina
  • I followed a Pinterest recipe and it wasn’t a fail!

    I followed a Pinterest recipe and it wasn’t a fail!

    How many times have you been on Pinterest, pinning delicious cookie pictures, mouth-watering crockpot recipes or yummy appetizers?

    How many times have you wanted to make that recipe to see if it’s as good as the picture looks?

    I stumbled upon this cookie picture on Pinterest a while ago. Pinned it. Forgot about it. Saw it again and decided to make it myself!

    Looked easy enough. Just a few simple ingredients, I could do this!

    Trying to bake with a 3 month old was the hard part of all of this! She kept pushing her little toy far away from her, she was crying, and just wanted me to sing baby shark while I just wanted to listen to Christmas music.

    Once the cookies were cooled off, I sampled one. Ok 6. They are so good!! I never made cookies with cake mix. They are fluffy and the chocolate chips are melty. The sprinkles on top give it a little crunch. It’s a 10/10 from me!

    If you’re on the fence about recreating a pin you saw on Pinterest, give it a shot! While Pinterest fails are funny, Pinterest wins are yummy!

    You can follow me on Pinterest here

    See you soon,

    Kristina

    It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

    It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

    Christmas is my second favorite holiday, Halloween is my first! There is just something magical and cozy about the holiday. I love to decorate our home and make it look festive.

    My style has changed over the years from using whatever was cheap it hand-me-downs, to rose gold/whites and a whole lot of flocking.

    I’m obsessed with my flocked Christmas trees. They are perfect and fake and I will never, ever get a real tree again. As beautiful and fluffy as real trees are, they are a freakin mess! My husband and I are still finding pine needles from the huge tree we got last year!

    This won’t be the most exciting blog post but I wanted to share some of our decorations.

    I’ll do my best to find links to everything or at least mention what store they’re from.

    Most pictures are directly linked to my Instagram!

    Thanks for stopping by and reading this short post!

    See you soon,

    Kristina

    Den to Nursery

    Den to Nursery

    When we moved into our condo in April, 2017, I was SO excited to have a den that I could put my desk in. Not a desk to do work at, a makeup desk! Oh my collection was insane. I had every palette, every lipstick, every new makeup product imaginable! It was my hobby, my passion. Here’s a picture of it set up.

    Fast forward to January 2018, WE’RE PREGNANT! I knew deep down that I would have to make my beloved “makeup room” into our baby’s nursery. I wanted to wait until I knew if we were having a girl or boy to start decorating. In the meantime, I was on pinterest day and night getting ideas.

    We bought the crib from ikea. It’s nice because it has 2 levels for baby and then changes to a toddler bed when she’s ready. We didn’t want to spend a ton on a changing table that wouldn’t grow with her as she got older, so we also bought her dresser from ikea and put the changing pad on top of it.

    If you read my post about my dining room makeover, I stained the table we got from Ikea the same color as Mackenzie’s dresser.

    After staining it, I wasn’t sure if I wanted matte black drawer pulls or long brass handles. I ended up with the handles. I saw them on pinterest and that person used them from etsy. They ran her about $200+ for 6 handles. I found them way cheaper on amazon!

    //ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=mackenzieandm-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B07H394BXW&asins=B07H394BXW&linkId=bde903c9ddfec5db21f19f683713116d&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=9900bf&bg_color=ffffff

    They are so well made and give the dresser the exact look I was going for.

    After the furniture was put together, it was time to decorate the wall. I found beautiful 3D flowers at Hobby Lobby, along with her Initials. It makes this small room so cozy and girly.

    I’m not sure how long we will be living in this condo or if Mackenzie will ever even sleep in her room because our bedroom is on the opposite side of the condo. But the decor will definitely follow us to our new home, wherever that may be.

    I’ll add a few other pictures of DIY things I made that I may do a quick post about in the future.

    Thanks for reading!

    See you soon,

    Kristina

    To the new mama

    To the new mama

    You just had your baby that you’ve been waiting 9 months for! Congratulations. Their little cry melts your heart. Their sweet face makes you want to protect them from the very beginning. This is the start to a beautiful relationship with someone you only just met!

    There are many things to look forward to after your baby is born. Like the first time they smile, and it’s a real smile and not just gas. Believe me, the first few smiles are because baby just tooted. And when your little bundle rolls over. It might seem silly but you’ll find yourself celebrating the smallest milestones.

    Now let’s talk about what happens after you give birth. This isn’t going to be sugar-coated. This is real life. This is the stuff people don’t talk about.

  • 1. Sweat
  • Your hormones are all out of whack. You will get up and walk to another room, and you will sweat. You will sweat like you just ran the New York City marathon. For me, it was worse because it was still summer. I soaked through my clothes, through my bedsheets, and had to change clothes multiple times a day. It’s totally disgusting but normal apparently. I asked my OBGYN at every visit!!
  • 2. Loss of appetite
  • Maybe this doesn’t happen if you’re breastfeeding, but I did not. I’m nearly 14 weeks postpartum and still don’t really have an appetite. It was a lot worse after we first brought Mackenzie home. My husband basically fed me that first week because I sometimes forgot or just didn’t want to! I can’t tell you when your appetite returns but I’ve heard that it’ll get better!
  • 3. The first poop
  • Oh my god. Nobody told me about this! I was honestly scared for my life when I had to go!! Stool softener will be your best friend for the first few weeks and if you love yourself, you had better take them! For me, it was scarier than giving birth! Seriously, no one warned me about how awful it would be.
  • 4. Every. Time. You. Pee.
  • What saved me, was my Fridababy mom washer! It was so much better than the peribottle the hospital gives you. I used the momwasher for weeks. Like 10 weeks. I had a second degree tear and stitches so I was terrified of hurting myself after using the bathroom. If you’re pregnant, get the mom washer!!! Literally a lifesaver.
  • 5. Postpartum Hair loss
  • It wasn’t until 8-9 weeks postpartum that my hair really started to fall out. Not only was it coming out in clumps but it was so freakin knotty, it hurt to brush it. In the shower. With 5 gallons of conditioner. I’m still dealing with this and I just want it to end!
  • 6. Phantom kicks
  • Apparently this is a thing. Your uterus is still getting back to normal, so it shakes or has a spasm of sorts. It feels like you’re pregnant again and your baby is kicking. If you aren’t expecting it, it’ll freak you out. Especially if you keep having dreams that you’re knocked up again.
  • 7. When the milk comes in
  • Holy shit. I didn’t end up breastfeeding, so when the milk came in 3-4 days after having Mackenzie, I just wanted to cut my boobs off. They were swollen. They were hard and hot. We had visitors every day. I looked like a slob kabob with ice packs sticking out of my bra but I didn’t care. My boobs were on fire! Thankfully it only last a few days but wow. OH and they leak too!! Make sure to have pads in your bra otherwise you’ll get some funny looks of you leave the house!
  • 8. The first and second period after giving birth
  • The first period was ok. I was able to take Advil again and believe me, I took it! But then, I got my second period and wow. Just wow. It was so painful. I couldn’t get out of bed. I couldn’t stand up. The cramps felt like contractions and I’m pretty sure I asked my husband for an epidural lol. I almost wished I was pregnant again!! And I hated being pregnant.
  • 9. You’re swollen
  • I’m not sure why I thought my pregnant belly would disappear after Mackenzie was born but nope. It seemed like it was bigger. Everything was swollen. My feet, my fingers, my face, all of it! Don’t expect to fit in your pre-pregnancy clothes right away! Sweatpants are life. Leggings are pants. Dress comfortable. You won’t look like this forever!
  • I don’t want to scare you but this is everything I can think of that happened to me after having my daughter. No one told me this would happen and it can be pretty scary and lonely if you think you’re the only one going through this! You aren’t alone!
  • What is something that happened to you that you weren’t expecting? Drop your comment below!
  • See you soon,
  • Kristina